“We take him to the swings sometimes and some lady might ask him ‘where’s your mummy’ and he says ‘I have two daddies'”
The guest on the set of the show “Mega Kalimera” was today Michalis Oikonomou. The actor spoke to Eleonora Meleti about the marriage of same-sex couples, but also about childbearing.
The beloved actor who is starring for the 2nd year in the show “DA” at the theater “ILISIA”, spoke about the work and his references to the family.
“It’s a show about a child, Charlie, who I play, who is adopted and says to his father, ‘I’m not your child,’ and he says, ‘Just because you’re not my child, you’re twice my child.’ Everyday in the show I hear the same words, they make me feel the same. This work is important because it talks about tender things, about healthy relationships between parents and children, through pain of course, hatred, love, anger. Something, I have missed a lot. We hear every day about tragic things that happen to various families in Greece and we have a great need to return to the basics, to tenderness and healthy human relationships”, said Michalis Oikonomou.
Regarding the civil marriage, Michalis Oikonomou says: “The question is the civil marriage which gives extra rights, consequently also the adoption, which we will proceed with because I am an invisible parent at the moment, I have no legal relationship with the child. We cannot adopt today. This is what we ask to be done. I am raising him, I am his father to the child, but legally I am nothing to the child. This is what the civil marriage will give us, through which I will be able to become a parent through the childbearing we will do. At the moment only George has custody of the child, he is his legal parent and father.
We have grown up in a society that made us tambourine, to fortify, to put up defenses so that we can get it clean from our childhood until today. We are very well trained in this and yes, it might hurt us, but we get by. The issue is the child. Can the child be protected, can the State provide him with both of his parents so that, yes, we are lucky now that nothing bad has happened, but in a same-sex family, as things are today, one of the two parents always has custody, he is vested. The other, who grows up with the child every day and is the second dad or the second mom, is currently the invisible parent. That is why we are asking for this bill to go, for the children».
Michalis Oikonomou then said: “We answer everything he asks, we don’t hide anything from him. For us it does not create stress because it is our everyday life. We answer him simply, with love and to the extent that the child can understand why he doesn’t grow up with mom and why he grows up with us. We go to the swings and sometimes some lady might ask him “where are you going alone, where is your mom” because she hasn’t seen us, and he replies that I have “two fathers, no mother”.
The child is more aware of society. Neither at school, nor at the instrument he goes to, nor at the pool, nor at parties, nor in public places where people have seen us, he has not been surprised. It may have been a bit abrupt for the little one to say “I have two daddies” but we have never received a derogatory look or a bitter comment.
Those who say and give statistics that people are not ready, not in favor, etc., I think it makes sense that a person who comes to you with a leaflet and asks you “are you in favor of procreation for same-sex couples”, if you are a bit stuck it is very possible to answer no. But if someone lives next to us and sees the daily stories at work, at school and looks us in the face, his doubts are immediately dispelled because he sees us as a normal family, we are not aliens.”
Regarding his decision to raise a child with his husband, Michalis Oikonomou said: “There were thousands of voices, but what came out quickly was that this child, from the moment we have the opportunity, we don’t want him to stay in an institution, because in this particular case that would be the end of it and I don’t know how it would continue from there. Let’s save a child. And for us it was a kind of discovery, a kind of gestation. It was slowly revealed through the eyes of the child himself. This decision came after a lot of talking and serious discussions with people who could support us psychologically, familially, and friendly. It wasn’t just let’s do it.”
For his family’s reaction, Michalis Oikonomou said: “My parents are helping to raise the child, but they too have traveled many kilometers from denial, doubt. They had a lot of difficulty, they told me don’t go on TV, you’ll be branded, you’ll lose jobs, they’ll ask you just for that, but they were slowly convinced too. It’s a path I’ve taken, with all the risks it can bring. Let the world understand that we are not aliens, that we do not threaten any kind of nuclear family. If the bill is passed, the whole nation will not run to become same-sex families.
We are some thousands of families in Greece, a minority who are asking for the bill to be passed so that our children can settle down. We will not attack any kind of nuclear family, any Church, I am also a person who goes to church, nothing will change. I didn’t expect anything different from the Church, it always reacted, it doesn’t surprise me. I would expect, as he shouts about all the things he sometimes shouts sharply and offensively, that he would have the same disposition to find a paternal embrace and a pastoral way to embrace the people among us who want to be in the Church as well”.
